…is that it really messes up your sense of perspective.
I was incredibly sick yesterday. Alas, this did not change the fact that I had a midterm. At some point the day before my professor had sent out an email to the whole class explaining a concept we’d had a hard time understanding. Despite my semi-delirious state, I somehow managed to realize that it would be a good idea to look at this email one last time before leaving for the test. So I sat down at the computer.
There, in my inbox, was an email with the subject line, Congratulations UnlikelyGrad. I thought it must be some sort of spam, but I opened it anyway–and it was another acceptance. I really ought to have been happy. You know: Woohoo! I have a choice! I’ve been accepted at another university which is a great match for me research-wise!
But I didn’t feel anything at all. I sat there for a while, wondering why I didn’t feel elated, and it struck me: I’m sick. I’m miserable. I can’t feel good about anything. Maybe tomorrow… Well, it’s tomorrow, and I’m feeling a bit more excited.
Anyway, I hope I didn’t bomb the test–my head felt like it had been run over with a steamroller, and thanks to a problem with the normally-reliable bus system, I ended up getting to class half an hour late. Ugh. But I managed to write something for every question. (I’m trying to remain optimistic here.)
Of course…does it matter? This is not a required class…it’s not even in the field of chemistry that interests me…and I’m going to grad school anyway. Woohoo!
(Actually, yes, it does matter to me…I really want to do well in this class. Really. Since I already have a bachelor’s degree, I don’t take classes unless I want to do well in them.)