Posted by: unlikelygrad | September 9, 2009

Some things I shouldn’t trust my husband with

I pretty much trust my husband implicitly. But as a recent episode shows, sometimes I need to look over what he’s done to make sure it’s really OK.

As I’ve mentioned before, my family is still on the West Coast, while I’m going to school east of the Rockies. Since my possessions haven’t been loaded on a moving truck yet, I started out with whatever possessions I could cram into two suitcases and a carry-on: airbed, kitchen stuff, minimal clothing…thank goodness “Bags Fly Free” on Southwest!

A week after school started, I flew home for a visit. This time I flew a different airline, one that charged money for checking bags. I brought my carry-on and backpack home (CA) mostly empty so I could bring more stuff back home (CO). (As you can see, having two homes complicates all sorts of narratives.) I’d previously given my husband a list of things I’d forgot to bring, and he dutifully packed them for me while I did touch-up painting around the house.

I didn’t even stop to consider what he might have put into my carry-on until I got to the security line at the airport. The TSA folks don’t even have to say there’s a problem; all they need to do is pick your bag off the conveyor belt and run it through the X-ray machine a second time. The conversation that followed went something like this:

TSA: “Ma’am, is this your bag?”
Me: “Yup.”
TSA: “There seems to be a knife in here.”
Me: “A what?!”
TSA: “A knife. Would you please unlock the bag for me?”

So I did, and he rummaged through and pulled out…a butter knife. Yup.

Me: “That counts as a knife?”
TSA: “Uh huh. It has serrations, see?”
Me: (trying hard not to roll eyes) “Whoops.”
TSA: “You could check this bag, you know.”
Me: “And pay $15 to save one lousy butter knife that costs less than $1 to replace? No thanks. Just take it.”

I was closing up my carry-on when I heard the lady at the X-ray machine say, “Whose backpack is this?” Oh dear…

Me: “What’s the problem this time?”
TSA: “Not sure…there seems to be something electronic in here that we don’t recognize…let me take a look.”

He had to rummage a bit to find it. Ummm. My sweetie, in an effort to save space, had packed the Thermos I’d requested, but not before filling it with stuff: AAA batteries on the bottom, followed by bags of assorted spices.

Let this be a lesson to you: Do not pack batteries in a closed container, and then fill the rest of the space with organic material. It looks suspicious.

Do I even have to say how embarrassed I was? Next time, I’m packing my carry-on!!

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