Posted by: unlikelygrad | November 29, 2010

sad poetry

Despite the fact that I consider myself artistically challenged, I have been known to write poetry on occasion, usually at times of great emotion.

As I have alluded to in previous posts, my life is in turmoil right now. This is because, two weeks ago today, I filed for divorce. I won’t get into the reasons here; with legal proceedings still pending, that would hardly be wise. Suffice it to say that I think there are sufficient grounds for my actions, and everyone I’ve talked to over the last month or so–with the exception of UnlikelyDad–agrees.

On Thanksgiving morning I found myself sitting in my lab, alone. UnlikelyDad had all four children for Thanksgiving and I had no one but my thoughts. So I wrote the following poem.

Broken Dreams

All those things you promised—
Did you really mean them?
Or did you just forget
Even with daily reminders?

When you said you loved me,
Did you really mean it?
Or did you actually mean
Only if I did as you asked?

I stand here now, smelling
Bittersweet odors of
So many hopes, so many dreams
Crushed beneath your grinding heel.

Alas for you, I have
Never yet forgotten
That I, too, am worthy
To be treated with some respect.

And so I must go now.
Farewell, my erstwhile love
Perhaps you’ll find new joy
With a more submissive woman.

He who made the lame walk
Will heal my wounded heart.
With faith in Him, I turn
And walk in hope towards the future.

Note: after spending half an hour moping, I got up and did something useful. I spent ~6 hours helping out at a homeless shelter later that day and had a blast. I hate wallowing in self-pity!

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Responses

  1. Being a fellow old fogey grad student, I have been an avid reader of your blog for 2 years. Being a divorced person, I understand the special hell this wreaks upon your professional life. So my sincerest condolences and admiration for dealing with this in the midst of your grad life. So it goes.

  2. […] November: I filed for divorce. […]


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