Posted by: unlikelygrad | December 3, 2010

The Day Before Deadline

My friend John Acker*, a PhD candidate in English at OSU, wrote this a couple of years ago and recently reposted it for his friends’ viewing pleasure. I found it just as hilarious the second time around–more, now that I’ve been a TA.

Twas the day before Deadline
And all through the roster
Came groaning and moaning
And one paternoster.

“Eight pages is cruel!
Unusually long!
My laptop is frenzied!
My printer’s all wrong!”

“I can’t find my textbook!
My topic must change!
My thesis keeps slipping;
My sources are strange!”

“My dear grand-mama
Died again, just last week,
I’m off to her fun’ral
In West Mozambique.”

“This folder’s capricious,
I mis-clicked “Submit,”
My network is vicious
And just won’t transmit.”

“I wasn’t in class when
You gave this assignment
Just grant my extension,
I swear I’ll refine it!”

Twas the day after Deadline
The students awoke
And finding no grade yet
Arose, piqued, and spoke:

“I slaved and I struggled
All night yesterday!
So get off your butt, prof,
And give me my A!”

*I was originally friends with John’s mom, who was one of my first (and probably most influential) mentors when I started homeschooling. I think John was 13 or so when I first met his mom: he was just as sarcastic and witty then as he is now. Needless to say, it’s hard for me not to like him.

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